It's day care time!

It's been a while since my last post...time flies by, and then I realize I haven't updated you all! As I mentioned in my last post, I have started back to work...what an adjustment. Not only had I completely forgotten where I left off project wise, but I couldn't remember passwords, my badge to get into the office, AND what it feels like to sit at a desk all day. I much prefer being at home and wandering around the house or outside...at least I'm burning some calories doing that :) I feel lazy sitting in front of the computer....I tried to take the stairs one day after lunch (I"m on the 5th floor), and was seen panting by most of my co-workers once I got up to my floor. I of course blamed my lack of being in shape to being tired.

Sam has started day care now that I'm back at work. She started this past Monday. Phil went with me to drop her off, and we stayed for 40 minutes! I did cry initially when we took her in, but I saw how well she was doing, and was OK by the time we left. Phil is so great for me...really helps me when I get emotional!! We also both went to pick her up...I couldn't wait to get my hands on her. I had imagined spending all night hanging out with her, but she was asleep by 5pm until 8pm, and then again from 9:30p-5:30am...So a small window of time to spend with her. The second day a tad different...I dropped off and Phil picked up...separately. I called both days at lunch to see how she was doing. I do feel guilty leaving her there, but I also know I want to work. I know now how mom's are torn. I mean I knew that Moms felt this way a lot in general, but until I had Sam and went back to work, I didn't know the extent of those feelings. All I want to do is work hard and efficiently at work and then rush home. Phil told me today that I am becoming a Mom.

So I thought about that a bit...I've been a Mom for a while now...well since April 23rd...but maybe I wasn't acting like a Mom? Of course I had to analyze this statement he made :) Never before had I thought about rushing home from work, declining week night dinners, and caring only about spending time with a baby. I considered myself someone that wasn't really good with babies. Many things have happened to tell me that I'm changing...

1) Sam was extremely fussy today when I dropped her off at day care when the teacher held her. When I held her to calm her, she stopped. My baby recognized me!! It felt great. She felt safe with me. I know she knows Phil and I, but it's times like these that make me feel really special.

2) I rush home from work...unfinished work can wait until tomorrow :)

3) I crave family time with Sam and Phil.....forget the dinners out, shows on TV, oh and being on the computer.

4) Family walks make great Friday nights

5) Dancing or doing anything to make Sam smile is top on my list

6) Watching Phil with Sam makes me so happy....

All these things are happening and I think experiencing the emotions, adjustments, love, and sacrifice have made me become a Mom. I can understand what Phil was saying. Just having a baby technically makes you a Mom, but changing my life for our new little one is what REALLY makes me a Mom and Phil a Dad.

We are so happy to be Samantha's parents...we are blessed and so lucky that she chose us :-)

Enjoy your week!